Everyone talks about how important persuasion skills are, and here I am nodding my head like a wobbly bobblehead. They're absolutely, and most definitely, right.
Persuasion skills are truly a superpower. THE MOST IMPORTANT SUPERPOWER OF THEM ALL:
- You can make it BIG and GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE with an above-average ability to persuade people to take action and do what you want them to do.
- On the flip side, you will always struggle (and fail) for the things you want if your ability to persuade sucks.
REMEMBER THIS: WITH EVERYTHING VALUABLE AND DESIRABLE IN LIFE, PERSUASION SKILLS ARE THE ONE THING STANDING BETWEEN THE "HAVES" AND THE "HAVE NOTS":
- Think of any really successful person you know. Do they know how to persuade and influence? Of course they do!
- Now, think of somebody you know who is truly struggling, especially financially and with the opposite sex. How are their persuasion skills (or lack thereof)? Pretty f---ing bad, right?
So, if you aren't where you want to be in some aspect of life, it's most likely because you need to become more persuasive in that aspect.
If you're smart (and I know you are), the DESIRE to learn persuasion skills should BURN IN YOU.
There is NO more important, essential, or powerful skill in life than this one and IT WILL ABSOLUTELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER...SO MUCH BETTER...IF YOU MASTER IT.
BUT, THERE IS A BIG, BIG PROBLEM:
Traditional persuasion tactics and techniques simply don’t work. Or, not nearly as well as people would have you believe.
Here's one of the reasons why: A lot of traditional persuasion tactics and techniques were extrapolated by researchers from research studies or social experiments in controlled environments or situations (and not real-life situations).
You probably know many of these traditional tactics and techniques, such as:
Social proof, authority, consistency, reciprocity, scarcity, liking, mirroring, and many others.
You might have learned these traditional tactics and techniques from some of these famous books on persuasion and influence:
- Robert Cialdini's "Influence" and "Pre-Suasion"
- Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends & Influence People"
- Joe Sugarman's "Triggers"
There are a lot of others teaching roughly the same things. Personally, I've spent a fortune on these resources to learn about persuasion myself.
If you're reading this, you've probably spent quite a bit of money yourself trying to learn persuasion skills. Am I right?!
LIKE I SAID, THIS SUPERPOWER IS SO IMPORTANT, IT SHOULD BURN INSIDE YOU TO MASTER IT.
I'm sure you know this already: Investing in your persuasion and influence skills is absolutely the best investment you could ever make.
But...only if it actually made you more persuasive. Herein lies the problem!
Mastering persuasion and influence in the way it is currently taught, is very difficult and usually fruitless.
You must take a different approach!
You’ve probably even tried out a lot of the traditional persuasion tactics and techniques you learned in the above books, right?
Let me ask you this: How’d they work out for you?
Not so well, right?!
As soon as you tried to use these traditional persuasion tactics and techniques in real-life situations, everything went to sh-t, right?
Do you feel like all the money you've spent to learn persuasion and influence went down the drain? Me too!
For years, too many than I care to remember, I struggled trying to use these traditional tactics and techniques to build my business, represent my legal clients, advise my corporate overlords to do the right (i.e. ethical and legal) things, convince my friends and family to do the things that were in their best interests, get girls to go out with me, and all sorts of other things.
All with limited (and mixed) success, but mostly with a lot less success than I desired or envisioned.
Here are a few reasons why traditional persuasion methods don't really work:
#1) Real-life is the furthest thing from controlled environments/controlled studies or social experiments.
These traditional persuasion tactics and techniques developed in research studies or social experiments can’t account for all of the myriad factors that come into play in real-life situations.
Real-life and human beings are just too complex and can't be dealt with using simple tactics or insights gleaned from limited, controlled social experiments.
Don’t get me wrong. These traditional methods are not necessarily incorrect, but what I am saying is that they are useless without something else.
#2) Traditional persuasion advice is usually just a random collection of tactics.
This one is simple to understand.
A random collection of persuasion tactics is hardly a framework or system, no matter how powerful, interesting, or effective a particular tactic seems to be. But, throwing around random tactics is unreliable as a persuasion method.
#3) Traditional persuasion methods are like a puzzle they’ve given you, but the most important puzzle piece is MISSING!
Because that puzzle piece is missing, it renders those traditional persuasion tactics and techniques impotent, flaccid, and limp.
Persuasion is "puzzling" for most people because no matter what tactics or techniques you learn, they just don't seem to work as well as they would have you think.
But, it's not because you're stupid or incompetent at carrying out these tactics and techniques.
And, it's not because people look down on you or don't take you seriously.
It's because traditional persuasion methods, while claiming to rely heavily on psychology, COMPLETELY IGNORE other very important psychological principles that are MASSIVE OBSTACLES to persuading and influencing other human beings.
Ignoring these PSYCHOLOGICAL PITFALLS means being unable to persuade consistently, effectively, and successfully.
And...traditional persuasion methods offer NO SOLUTION for these MASSIVE PITFALLS.
Let's talk about one of them right now: